The Master’s House Was Never For Us

“For the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. They may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. And this fact is only threatening to those women who still define the master's house as their only source of support.” - Audre Lorde, 1979

This quote has been echoing in my head since Wednesday morning. Audre Lorde was a Black lesbian feminist, and this quote came from a speech she gave to a conference of white straight feminist women, calling them out on their insular perspectives. (You can read the full speech is here; it is well worth reading, and re-reading.)

If you don’t know, read, or follow any Black women, her message may be new to you. 

This is the shock many white women and white people are experiencing. We thought that if we played by the master’s rules and used the master’s tools, we could fix the master’s house. We believed the hype and we ignored the facts: America was built on violence against and unpaid forced labor of Indigenous people, African-Americans, women, and immigrants. This week was a wake up call for those of us who still believed the fairy tale of America’s greatness.

As Maya Angelou said, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."

How do we, as white people, do better? Here are a few suggestions:

• Read and watch content created by Black women.

• Follow, like, and amplify Black women on social media.

• Listen, listen, listen to Black women with our hearts open and our mouths shut.

• Support Black-owned businesses.

Some of what you will hear and read from Black women will make you uncomfortable. Many of them will tell you they don’t want to see your blue bracelets and your blacked-out profile picture because those are performative, self-centering, easy symbols. 

Dismantling the master’s house takes work. It takes intention. It takes time. It takes energy. We have to create our own tools and we can’t give up when it gets uncomfortable or makes us feel bad about ourselves. We have to keep going. We have to work in community with each other. We have to accept that we are new to this game, and Black women have been doing this work for centuries—not out of choice but out of necessity. 

I will have more thoughts about how the LGBTQIA+ community fits into this, too. They need our support and love as well. I just don’t know what to say about that yet.

We can do this, together, if we are willing to listen and learn.